Miss Jaci <3 (b1ack_bile) wrote in arty_writing,
Miss Jaci <3
b1ack_bile
arty_writing

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Control...
control is when you decide you'll lose weight before your birthday party at six flags.
control is when you tell yourself you're not going to eat today and you don't.
control is when you tell yourself to lose that hip fat and you do.
control is when you can schedule fasts and go through with them.
control is when you tell your periods to stop and they do.
control is when you have the power to decide what stays in your stomach.
control is when the skin on your face gets a little tighter.
when those collar bones can cut through glass.
when those boobs have disappeared as well as that ass.
when people tell you that you need help...
... but you know you can stop at any time.

Out of control...
out of control is when you tell yourself to eat but everything looks disgusting
out of control is when there is no more fat to lose, but you're still losing.
out of control is when the doctor says you can't go to six flags like you planned because it may induce a heart attack.
out of control is when you've lost your gag reflex, but the food doesn't stay down anyway.
out of control is when you have to stop to put your head under the water and scream, hoping this is all a dream.
when those "helping hands" have all faded away.
... and you question if you were ever in control to begin with.
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that was amazing. simply said. i like how you broke it into the two sections...